The Adventures of Dinner Man and Agent Time 

Greg and Chris sat in the studio, relaxing after a long day in the office. “What you up to tonight?” Greg asked, leaning back in his chair and scratching his nose. 

“Ah y’know. Just… watching time pass by…” chris said elusively, also leaning back and swinging his chair gently back and forth, “you?”

“Ah yeah, y’know…dinner” Greg smiled. 

“Mmm”

“Mmm”

They sat in silence for a while before someone’s phone chimed. Both jumped instinctively towards their own device. 

It was Gregs. 

“Hello? Yes? Yes. Yes. Ok. I’ll be there” he hung up “sorry mate, gotta dash” 

“No worries. I, uh, I think it’s time for me to go too” 
*later, near Gregs house*

“PASTA LA VISTA, GRAVY!” a masked figure, who had a similar build to that of Greg james, yelled at a large masked man. He threw a plate of pasta at his face before jumping on him and tying his hands behind his back with stings of (reinforced) spaghetti. 

“Ah. I can’t believe you’ve done this!” Shouted the figure writhing on the ground 

“Be quiet!”

“NO! You will never silence THE MIGHTY DOCTOR TABLESON!”

“That. Is an awful name”

“NO IT ISN’T!”

“What do you even do? I mean, apart from running around town knocking over tables?”

“THAT. IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO!”

“You knock over tables…”

“I CAUSE CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION-”

“- you knock over tables”

“-TERROR AND FEAR-”

“By knocking down tables”

“-FEAR IS… IS… PEOPLE… chaos… I… I…”

“… knock over tables”

“Knock over tables” 

“Yes. And it’s very silly”

“It is quite silly yes- NO!”

“Yes”

“… yes” 

They sat in silence for a moment. 

Then, out of the darkness and the silence, Dr Mctableson began to speak, 

“How would you feel..” he asked melodiously, “if someone knocked over your table?”

“Mildly annoyed” The hero responded with a shrug

“How would you feel” McTableson tried again, “if someone knocked over your table AND YOUR DINNER WAS ON IT?!”

The hero fell to his knees, arms raised to the skies and let out an almighty scream of terror, as rain began to fall dramatically “NOOOOOOOOOO!!”

“Yes, I know your weakness. I know who you are! DINER MAN!”

The hero stopped screaming abruptly before throwing himself down so he was face to face with his captive,

“No. No no no no no no. My name is not DINER MAN! That’s an AWFUL name for a hero” he huffed, before drawing himself up to his full, and rather impressive height, “I am,” he paused for dramatic effect before booming “DINNER MAN!” He raised his chin to look more magnificent, and wished he had remembered to bring his portable speaker so he could blast his “theme tune”. 

Dr McTableson was caught in a trance like state as he gazed at the magnificence of the hero before him. But his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of police sirens, but in the moment that he looked to see where they were, Dinner man had vanished, leaving nothing but the faint smell of paprika and tomato purée. 
*meanwhile near Chris’ house* 

“YOUR TIME HAS COME!” Yelled, yet another, masked hero, this one seemed to have a similar build to that of Chris Smith with the news (how incredibly odd). 

“YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME, FOR I AM THE MAGNIFICENT, AMAZING, UNBEATABLE, UNSTOPPABLE-”

“Ok enough with the adjectives get to the good bits”

“TIME GREMLIN!” 

The time gremlin was a short man wearing a dark green suit and a, quite frankly rubbish face mask. 

“Yes well, it appears that your time has come”

“You’ve already used that pun”

“Yes well… I don’t believe in… second chances.” He stammered, “erm… You’re going down”!” He shouted. The hero launched himself at the gremlin and managed to wrestle him to the ground, seeing as he had the height advantage and lack of a silly mask. He bound the gremlins hands with, what appeared to be a chain of cogs and springs. 

“You’ll never get away with this!”

The hero stood up. His face was hidden in shadows making him look handsome and mysterious. 

“Of course I’ll get away with this, for you see,” he gestured around “I just have”. 

He looked towards the clock and as he did so, the hands began to move twice as fast as they should have. 

“NO!” Screeched the man in chains, “NO YOU’RE RUINING IT STOP IT!” 

“No I shall not! You cannot mess with time, Gremlin” 

“CHAOS! THATS WHAT I WANTED! CHAOS AND DESTRUCTION! AND, AND A LATER BEDTIME!”

“well it looks like it’s past your bedtime” the hero said smartly. He stood up straight and looked into the middle distance, doing his best to look strong and heroic.

“It seems like my work here is done”

“How would you feel if I told you,” the criminal on the ground spat, “that all the clocks in the city were changed”

“Mildly annoyed to be honest” 

“What if I told you,” the gremlin tried again, “that all the clocks in the city had changed TO THE WRONG TIME-”

The hero gasped dramatically,

“-BY EXACTLY 2 AND A HALF MINUTES”

The hero fell to his knees and began to scream as he reached to the sky and the heavens opened to bring a dramatic fall of rain. 

“NOOOOOO!! WHY WOULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! YOU… YOU.. MONSTER!” screamed the hero in disgust and anger. 

“I prefer the term “Time Gremlin” actually. And it was hypothetical” 

The hero stopped and brought his face very close to his captive, “never talk about things like that. Not even in a hypothetical sense”

The gremlin- the time gremlin smiled smugly, “ah. I’m sorry” but he wasn’t, “but now I know who you are… Agent Time!” 

The hero looked annoyed as he stood up. He turned his nose up at the little gremlin before rumbling in a heroic voice, “YES! I AM AGENT TIME! AND I WILL HAVE ORDER! NO ONE WILL BE LATE BECAUSE OF AN INACCURATE PUBLIC CLOCK WHILE I SERVE THIS CITY” 

“You need a shorter tag line” the time gremlin muttered 

Just then, the sound of sirens began to increase in volume, and as the gremlin attempted to look around to see where they were, Agent Time disappeared leaving only a faint ticking noise in his wake. 

Both heroes sped away from their heroic acts, leaving the police to take care of their “little” friends. Little did the heroes know of course, that any second they would crash into each other on a street corner.

Nothing happened.

LITTLE DID THE TWO HEROES KNOW-

The two heroes suddenly bumped into each other at a lamppost at the end of a street. 

“Oh, er, sorry. I was just-” began Agent Time,

“Yes, um, I was just going-” started Dinner Man,

“Yes”

“Yes”

“Well” they said together. 

There was an awkward pause as Agent Time and Dinner Man did that awkward dance from side to side. You know the one, when you bump into someone and you try to get past by moving to the side. But you both move the same way doing a bizarre “mirroring each other” dance. 

Eventually they managed to sort themselves out and pass each other. 

“Well, nice meeting you I suppose… nice cape” said dinner man, eyeing up Agent Times blue cape, 

“Thanks” said Agent Time, “nice eye mask. Thingy” he added as he studied the strangers face. 

Actually, they both started to look at each other. In hindsight, they both decided that they should have focused more on disguising their accents than their appearance, but we’re in the present, not the future, so they hadn’t thought of that yet. 

“You sound an awful lot like Greg James off the radio you know” noted Agent Time. 

“yes. And you sound a lot like Chris Smith With The News. But he’s not cool enough to be a super hero”

“OI!” Said Agent Time sounding wounded, “er, I mean, I think Chris smith is very cool” 

“Oh” Dinner Man said, “sorry, I…”

Someone’s phone began to ring. This time, no one moved. 

“Uh… you gonna get that?” Agent Time asked hesitantly 

“Thought it was yours mate,”

“Nah that’s not my ring tone. That’s my mate Gregs…” Agent Time paused as he realised that this man, this hero, this STRANGER was not a stranger at all. 

“Greg?” He quizzed 

“NO! I AM DINNER MAN!” Yelled dinner man defensively

“AND I AM AGENT TIME!” Agent Time countered. 

They stared at each other for a few moments before walking on their way, eyeing each other carefully until they were out of sight. 

The next day, Greg and Chris sat in the studio recording their award winning podcast. 

“Imagine being a superhero though” Greg said playfully, “i would love the ability to make dinner for any number of people at any time of the day. That’d be cool”

Chris laughed, “I would change every public clock to the correct time. It really REALLY annoys me when clocks in public places are at the wrong time” he frowned as he thought of a clock showing the wrong time. 

Greg smirked “that sounds a bit odd”

Chris, suddenly defensive, “oi! You could be late for everything if it wasn’t for people like me- I mean, Agent Time- I mean if public clocks were wrong” he sounded flustered. 

Greg and chris stared at each other for a moment, looking at each other carefully as though trying to read the others minds- which they couldn’t, because that wasn’t their superpower. Something wasn’t right here. They didn’t usually have secrets… 

After the podcast was done Greg cornered chris and asked very directly, “Are you a super hero?” He had a very serious look in his eyes as he said it. And he used his serious voice and so chris felt compelled to answer honestly, 

“no” he lied fighting his compulsion, “are you a superhero?” Greg also felt that he should tell his friend the truth, 

“no” said Greg, lying to his mate “I’m not. It would be cool though” 

“Yeah,” chris said, “being able to help people, even in a small way” 

“Exactly! Like helping the listeners. It would be amazing” 

For you see, dear reader, Greg and chris did not yet know that they did not need super powers to help us, their listeners. Their laughter, banter, jokes and just their presence was enough to help their listeners through tough times, through a bad day or a bad week. They did not yet know that their voices coming from the radio were enough to help people. A true super power. 

“Well, anyway, best get on then. Lots to do eh,” Greg said awkwardly. He didn’t like lying to chris. They were best friends, they shouldn’t have secrets! He resolved to find a way to tell him. But what if he was mad that he’d lied? What if he didn’t believe him? 

So many questions, all of them big. 

“Er, ok. Are you.. are you gonna go then?” 

Greg realised that as these questions had been racing through his head he had not moved and had been stood staring at chris for well over half a minute. 

“Oh right. Yeah oh course yeah. I was just… you look tired mate” Greg had indeed noticed how tired Chris looked. Almost like he had been up half the night running around the city. 

“Yeah not been getting much sleep really” chris shrugged, “busy, y’know… you don’t look so good yourself mate,” he added, noticing the dark circles under Gregs eyes, 

“Yeah… busy too I suppose… anyway. Cheers mate. See you later” 
And so both Greg and Chris went their separate ways once again. Off to perform their heroic duties as Dinner Man and Agent Time, in secret, not seeking praise- just a cool catchphrase… 
**Later that week**

“YOUR TIME HAS COME DINNER MAN!”

“Not today, time gobblin” 

“GREMLIN! I’M A GREMLIN!” 

“Yeah whatever. Point is,” Dinner Man said because changing his voice to sound more projected and powerful, “its time for you… to, pause for dramatic effect… EAT MY DUST!” He finished triumphantly 

“What?” Said the gobbl- gremlin, looking confused. 

“Eat my… eat my dust. Because I’m Dinner Man. Eating. Dust. No?” Dinner mans face fell, “What about..”

“HOW ABOUT “ITS DINNER TIME”?!” Boomed a mighty voice from behind him. 

It was Agent Time! 

“Agent time?” Asked Dinner Man and The Time Gremlin together because they don’t have a handy narrator telling them who’s who and what’s what 

“Yes! I am THE TEMPEST! THE GREAT Agent Time! And your time” he pointed to the gremlin “is UP!” 

And with that he launched himself at the gremlin, tying him up with chains and metal. 

“What were you up to this time? Trying to change the clocks again? Make everyone late?!” 

“No!” Scoffed the time gremlin, fighting in vain against his restraints “I wanted to change time so it was always JUST before dinner time but never ACTUALLY dinner time!”

Dinner man gasped so hard and so dramatically he almost fell over 

“I wanted kids everywhere to be constantly told that their dinner was “Almost ready” when it really wasn’t!” The gremlin smiled maliciously (that means in a very mean and evil way). Dinner man was so shocked and angry about this that he kicked the gremlin in the foot. Unfortunately gremlins are very thick skinned so it takes a lot to hurt them, so Dinner mans kick actually felt more like a small poke. Like a baby feeling your face. More like a tickle than anything else, but we digress. 

“I would’ve got away with it too!” The time gremlin grunted “if it wasn’t for you medalling… you… if it wasn’t for you!” He spat. 

Dinner man and Agent Time looked at eachother. Dinner man raised an eyebrow and Agent Time nodded, together they picked up the gremlin and threw him into a nearby skip, just as the police sirens started up nearby. 
As they fled the scene side by side, both were thinking the same thoughts, the first being “oh no! He totally knows who I am now!” And secondly “I TOTALLY know who he is now” 

Neither one voiced his thoughts, until, 

“I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!” They both cried suddenly, at the same time 

“GREG!” Yelled agent time,

“CHRIS!” Yelled dinner man, 

“WHAT?! NO!” They yelled together, 

“Don’t lie to me mate,” Agent Time- I mean,Chris said calmly, “its strikingly obvious. And, and I think it’s really cool”

“Really?” Dinner man- Greg asked, “I mean, I think you’re cool too chris, I mean Agent Time”

“I prefer “The Tempest” but some kid from Northern Ireland started calling me Agent Time and it sorta stuck” chris shrugged 

Greg raised his eyebrows and smiled, “well then, Agent Time,” he cocked his head and offered Chris the crook of his arm, “your place or mine?” With a cheeky wink. 

Chris laughed and linked onto Gregs arm, “your place is closer, I’ve to be home by 10 though, otherwise my wife will kill me” 

Greg nodded in pretend understanding “yeah fair enough….”

And they set off towards Gregs place walking in time with each other as Greg hummed the “Jurassic park” theme tune. 
As they arrived at Gregs place the rain was beginning to pour down.
“Right,” Greg sighed, “keys…” as he patted down his costume he realised he had made a fatal design error.

No pockets. 

Where did he put his keys? “Oh… well this is a bit of a carbonara isn’t it?” Greg muttered. Chris raised an eyebrow.

“What?” Greg asked.

“Carbonara… really?” Chris retorted

“What’s wrong with that?” 

“Carbonara!” 

“And? People love carbonara!”

Chris shook his head smiling “it’s supposed to be pickle!”

Greg scoffed “but they aren’t very nice are they? Carbonara is a food of champions! Plus I’m Dinner Man! No one in their right mind would have a pickle for dinner!” 

Chris shook his head giggling “ok fair enough then…. no keys?” He asked

Greg shook his head sadly “must’ve left them in that phone box where I changed…”

Chris slapped a hand to his mouth “YOU CHANGED IN A PHONEBOX?” 

Greg looked offended “what’s wrong with that? All the greats have done it!”

“PHONE BOXES HAVE GLASS WINDOWS YOU GAZELLE!!” 

Greg laughed out loud- that kind of laugh that you can’t help but start to giggle along with- one of those contagious laughs that start of quiet but build into a huge, rumbling belly laugh- you know what I mean!

“I used a special box you banana!” Greg hooted.

Now both men stood at a door giggling in the rain… in super hero costumes. 

This couldn’t get anymore weird, could it?

Just then a llama ran past, followed by an alpaca. 

Apparently it could. 

Greg found an open window and squeezed through to open the door for chris, then they spent a few hours talking about their super powers and how they fought bad guys, or “aubergines” as Greg called them. 

Over dinner- provided by Greg – Dinner Man, of course- They discussed their costume choices and their catchphrases and tried their best to come up with more time related puns for Chris to use. It was very difficult. 
On a completely unrelated note, if you happen to have any good time related puns please tweet us @chloem86 or @weejudiee
Now where were we? 

Yes, Greg and chris told eachother all about their powers, their hidden indentities and the foes that they had battled. 

“They all seem to have one thing in common though,” chris pondered as he finished his carbonara, “they all have a niche… they’re all changing time or attacking Dinner… well not attacking Dinner but you know what I mean” he finished 

Greg considered this, “you know what, you’re right. But what does that mean?” He wondered aloud. 

What it meant, dear reader, was that there was a bigger hand at play here, these small scale baddies weren’t working alone, someone else was sending them in to do the dirty work.

“There’s Someone bigger working here, using these small scale baddies to do the dirty work,” chris answered “but they’re doing a horrendous job.” He noted 

There was silence for a few moments as they watched a particularly funny cat video on a TV show about people’s home videoed funny moments. Greg laughed out loud while chris cringed slightly, praying silently that the cat had survived its fall from the tree. 

“So how do we find out who the main bad guy is?” Greg asked

“I… I don’t know” chris said “but I can only assume that they’ll come crawling out of the woodwork when they realise how badly their minions are doing” 

Greg smiled as his mind jumped immediately to the little yellow creatures in blue dungarees. 

Chris looked as his watch “OH NO!” He cried, “ITS TEN MINUTES TO TEN! I’LL NEVER MAKE IT HOME IN TIME!” He put his head in his hands, “my wife is going to kill me” 

Greg stared at him in disbelief, “aren’t you Agent time?” 

“NO!” Chris said, louder than he had intended. 

“Sorry,” Greg tried again, “aren’t you The Tempest?” 

Chris looked calmer as he answered “why yes, yes I am” he looked proud and then troubled, “why what’s that got to do with anything?” 

“Well didn’t you say you could, like, control time or whatever?”

Chris looked slightly offended, “no. No. No no. I can correct the time of public clocks so that they are accurate”

Greg looked surprised, taken aback, disgusted, surprised again and then tried his best to find a neutral expression before saying something incredibly encouraging and supportive to his friend,

 “cool” 

There was a slightly awkward pause before Greg continued, “but couldn’t you just, y’know, put the time back a few minutes-”

“And make the time INCORRECT?!” Chris sounded appalled 

“Well I mean-”

“THAT WOULD BE AN ABUSE OF MY POWERS!” Chris almost-shouted, “I could never, NEVER do that” he said more quietly and seriously. 

“Ok ok sorry” Greg said trying to defuse the situation, “come on let’s go now and I’ll explain and say it was my fault, ok?” 

“Ok” chris agreed 

“And I’m sorry that I, y’know, suggested that you warp time and stuff”

“It’s ok,” chris said firmly, secretly wiping a tear from his eye. 

—- END OF PART ONE——

Normal? 

Everyone is expected to act a certain way or talk a certain way or like and hate certain things based on where you’re from, your gender, your age and a whole host of other characteristics. Because if we don’t do these things the “right” way, then we aren’t “normal”. 

But what is “normal”? 

Is it being “perfect”? Having the perfect weight, hair, teeth? Having straight A’s in school? Going to uni, getting a job, starting a family? 

The truth is, there is no such thing as “normal”. 

No one is normal. Because everyone is different. And that’s cool! Because if we all liked the same things and looked the same it would be… well it would be like having a twin in a lot of ways. Which is ok I suppose, but that’s not my point. 

We are different. And we like and dislike different things. It gives us talking points, points for discussion, not necessarily disagreement or arguments. We look different and that’s ok too. We’re all different shapes and sizes, just like pebbles or shells. 

(Bear with me for a second!) I have always loved collecting pebbles from the beach, any beach! Big or small, angular or rounded, soft or rough… sometimes they’re soft and fit in the palm of my hand, sometimes they’re big and rough but have a really cool colour or pattern. (Maybe I’ve just always been a bit of a geography nerd). It doesn’t bother me about the size or shape, they’re all pretty. Just like humans. 

Sometimes people can judge us based on what we like and don’t like. 

I’m a very picky person when it comes to food. And I have some very odd eating habits (if I ever eat in front of you, you’ll know that I am 100% comfortable in your presence!). My mum often laughs and pokes fun (or sighs exasperatedly!) when we go out to eat! But y’know what? I don’t mind. I’m happy. I’m enjoying myself. Who cares if I have chocolate on my face and ice cream up my sleeve? Who cares if i just want a starter and two deserts? 

I was bullied a lot at school because I loved doctor who and Harry Potter, and I loved country music… because that’s not what girls usually watched / listened to and it was seen as very nerdy. But it never stopped me watching and enjoying it! There were loads of other things that I got teased about in school. And I tended to shrink into myself and hide in the library where I met some like minded people. 

But ever since that time in school I’ve been quite wary of meeting new people and sharing my opinions in a group, but I’m getting better! 

My point is, don’t ever let anyone tell you that you’re not normal as an insult. Be proud to be different! Don’t let anyone stop you watching those shows you like or listening to the music you love! As long as you like a wide variety of stuff, fill your brain with books of all kinds, shows of all types, music of all genres. Have a mix of everything but always have a huge spot in your heart and your life for the things you love. 
Never be ashamed of being different. Embrace your quirks. Welcome to the family of weirdos. We’re called humanity. 
Peace and love. God bless x 

Confidence 

Confidence.Something you’ve either got or you haven’t. Some people are so confident through life, they seem to know exactly what they’re doing, what they want to achieve and how to achieve it, and they usually succeed. 

How do they do it?

I don’t know… 

But, as a not-so-confident person, here’s what I have learned in my 22 years of life.

Firstly, everyone has confidence. As a child, we were all pretty confident, outspoken little people, learning about the world and asking “Why?” every second of the day, climbing to the highest shelf to reach some silly game or climbing trees with no thought of how to get back down from the tallest branch. But somewhere, somehow, we lose that learning spirit, that urge to know more about who and how and why… And, I think, with that, we lose some confidence. We maybe lose the confidence to ASK these questions, “I don’t want to seem silly”, or maybe we lose the confidence in ANSWERING these questions, “What if my answer is wrong and everyone laughs?”

But it doesn’t matter if it sounds silly, if you’re paying attention or if you’re keen to learn, there is no such thing as a “stupid question”.

Secondly, no one knows what they are doing.

No one.

Some people are just really focused and driven and have their lives planned out… and they’re lucky, and hard working. And lucky.

Or maybe I’m just bitter…

Thirdly- and this one is the most important I think- You have to fake it to make it.

Sometimes you have to play mind games with yourself to make yourself feel more confident. You have to pretend to be the most confident person you know and go out and do the thing… It’s hard, it feels awkward, but my word it is effective!

Maybe it’s partly because I am a drama queen and I love to act things out, maybe it’s because I like pretending to be someone else, but when I go out and have to do something scary like presenting something, an interview or a performance, I pretend that I am the most confident person that I know. I put on a face, a mask, I pretend to be something that I don’t feel I am at that moment. I feel like I’m faking it and this isn’t the “real” me but I can do so much when I being this confident person and it’s so hard to explain…

When I’m with my friends or family, people I’m familiar with, I don’t need to pretend. I can be myself and this act is not needed because, in some ways, it’s jus me. But when I’m nervous or need to boost my confidence, I put on a show. At home, I’m pretty much the same, I just don’t have to force it (does that make sense?) 

But when I go out and perform, just at church, no major gigs yet! I fake this confident air, almost to put myself at ease. I tell myself “you can do his, you’ve done it a hundred times. Show these guys what you can do!” in a really, almost, “Eye of the tiger” playing in the background kind of way… But it works.

In my own opinion, it’s easy to tell when I putting on this “performance” of confidence, and I am going to give away all my secrets, because hey who reads this anyways? 

Firstly, I’m more outspoken. This sounds obvious but hold up a second. I am more willing to voice my own opinion and thoughts, I am more talkative in general and I am more able to convey my own thoughts, feelings and I won’t be afraid to tell you that you’re wrong or that I disagree. I do this when I’m comfortable around people too, but it seems less forced. 

Secondly, my accent. Oh dear goodness, my accent. Ok so, I can do several accents because, as I stated, I am a drama queen. So apart from Australian, American or various “mainland”/ English accents, I have my “home” accents. There is “quiet Judith’s” accent, which can best be described as my “phone voice”. It’s quiet, gentle and quite proper (for a wee girl from norn iron). And then there’s “normal Judith” who will appear when I feel comfortable with someone / a situation. This accent is broader, faster and a lot more sarcastic. This is just my everyday accent. Finally, “obnoxious Judith”. Now, I don’t drink (hate the taste of alcohol) but I reckon if I did, obnoxious would be my state of drunk. Obnoxious Judith appears generally when I am tired or having a really fun time with friends or just messing around with my sister- feeling high on life! Its loud, its sarcastic, its funny (in my opinion) – but did I mention very VERY loud? – And cocky (and tends to take jokes a little bit too far at times)

Thirdly, my courage. When I am pretending, when I am confident, I will try new things. I will dare to be funny, I will jump into a situation with both feet without taking my shoes off. I regain that childhood feeling of being indestructible and fearless. I’ll go climb that tree and I won’t worry about getting down until I’m stuck. I’ll go play on those swings because swings are fun I don’t care if those people think I am weird. I’ll make jokes at my own expense, make a fool of myself and overall, enjoy it because I am making people laugh, entertaining and putting on a show to make people smile.

And in the end, that’s all I ever want to do.

Not all heroes wear (or have) capes 

Ok so I read a book by two of my heroes (Greg James and Chris smith with the news. The book is called Kid Normal and I HIGHLY recommend it no matter what age you are) and it’s about heroes. So I guess this blog is about heroes then. 

Your heroes 

Everyone has their own heroes for their own reasons. I have LOADS! My parents, my brothers (but don’t tell them that), my twin sister (I mean, she’s ok I guess), my friends (there are too many to name but chances are if I annoy you with messages at least every other day you can assume you’re one of my heroes), my wider family circle including aunts, uncles and cousins… and several celebrities (including Greg and Chris mentioned above, Bear Grylls, Simon Thomas (off of the old days of Blue Peter), several ulster rugby players and many many more)! 

Here are a few links to blogs in which I’ve mentioned some of the people mentioned above. Unless you’re not interested. In which case, do scroll on past 

Teachers
Advice from Greg James
Granny 
Side note: Frank Mitchell and Barra Best off of the weather are also big heroes of mine. But only because I’m a geography nerd and I really like synoptic charts. 

I admire and look up to these people for different reasons and I guess it’s only fair if I list a few of them. 

So here are some of the reasons I look up to these people. I’m going to list them kinda like super powers to make things a little bit more exciting and to play on the whole “heroes” part of this.. 
1. The ability to make you smile when you feel like nothing could ever make you smile ever again 

This is an important super power and one that I hope to possess. Sometimes when we have a terrible day and nothing seems to go right we need that one person (or group of people) to cheer us up. And honestly that’s amazing. 

(More on this here –> Mess and Hope  and here –> Inspirational motivators )
2. The ability to make you laugh so hard you stop making any noise at all and just kinda sit there not breathing but in a gloriously happy kind of way

These are honestly the best kinds of people. Whether it’s your mates in a group chat or some weirdos in a podcast, this is one of the best superpowers a person can possess (especially if you’re an aspiring comedian) 
3. The ability to make you laugh out loud in public 

This is another one that I absolutely love (apparently a lot of my heroes make me laugh). I have laughed out loud, felt weak and even snorted in public (usually in the gym) because of a certain podcast. Honestly it’s embarrassing but I also love it and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 
4. The ability to encourage someone when they’re feeling down 

This one is very important to me. I really want to be able to build people up and encourage them no matter what. Sometimes I know I can be bossy and condescending and honestly I don’t mean to be. Sometimes I feel like if I bully someone into things they’ll do it. Because a lot of the time that’s what works for me. 

Someone tells me I can’t and so I set out to prove them wrong. 

It doesn’t work for everyone. And that’s totally cool. 

Sometimes it just takes a little message, a quick “YOU CAN DO IT” to make it all ok (more about that here –> Mess and Hope and here –> One of those days )
5. The courage to stand up for what you believe in even though you might be ridiculed for it 

I’m not naming names here but there are some people that I admire and look up to who are willing to fight for what they believe is right even though they may face scrutiny from family, friends or even the media. 

It takes incredible courage to stand up to people- especially your friends and family- but it’s the best feeling when you do it. Or even watch someone else do it. 

So. Proud. 
6. The ability to push yourself to the limit 

People who work hard for things they want, for things they believe in and things that they love. The ability to keep going even when you feel like lying down and giving up. 

Working for the right reasons and remaining humble while you do it, not losing sight of yourself and where you’ve come from, how hard you had to work and how far you’ve travelled to reach your goals. 

Working for a cause and pushing your body and mind to the limit and beyond so that you can make a difference. 

Honestly. Goals. 
7. The ability to allow yourself to look silly or make jokes at your own expense 

I think I have this one covered but sometimes I worry that people feel bad for laughing. 

Seriously if I make blind jokes it’s ok to laugh. I encourage it (more on that here —> My eyesight)

As I said; Everyone has their own heroes and their own reasons for “idolising” certain people and I hope that you can maybe relate to some of these. There are obviously loads of reasons to admire people and I’ve only scratched the surface but hey this was kind of a last minute thing (I’m good at blogging obviously) 

Anyway, peace and love, God Bless, Take care and be good.
 

Thoughts on HBC 2017

Holiday Bible Club 2017 

Monday: 

John C is an absolute legend and such an inspiration to me in so many ways. He doesn’t complain and just gets on with things. He’s so encouraging and so kind. 

He is SO good at remembering kids names (how does he do that?!) 

(Rev Keith, Anna, GMcB, Sophie, Erin, Jennie, Hazel, Mama Ruth and Chloe are also absolute legends)

Rev K is very very good at stories. But I guess that’s kind of his job?? 
Drama is something I absolutely love. Although being the “sensible character” is nowhere near as fun as being the stupid one. 
Also- it pays to prepare. Especially for quizzes and dramas. 

Tuesday: 

Stories are hard when you haven’t prepared properly (see above). 

So is making the transition from “drama character” to “serious bible time”.. however, having a partner to back you up in your story is a protip. 
Also Erin is great on piano and I want to jam more often please with Sophie also on piano, anna and chloe as backup singers (/dancers?) and guitar. 
Final thought: if you do accents for kids they do not forget. Do not do accents unless you are happy to be called upon at random moments to “speak Russian” or “speak southern Irish” at random points throughout the week. 

Wednesday: 

Midweek is hard but also, it’s already Wednesday?! 
Kids love obstacle courses and I am WAY too competitive. 
I am rubbish at names and chloe is very good at heart-wrenching sad scenes. Rev K drank vinegar one time just to prove that he could and honestly I’m equal parts in awe and grossed out. 
Also, I’m still bad at names. 

Thursday: 

GMcB is very good at stories and quizzes and utilises doors very well. 
For the first time I became aware of kids looking at me because I look at things close up. Which is odd because usually it’s adults who do that. 
Rev K was a proper rebel and has some excellent stories. 
More jamming with the gang. We definitely need to start a band. 

Friday:

Wow it’s the end already??? Time always flies. 
The atmosphere is different. Not sure whether because it’s the last night or that there are fewer people here. 
Hearing kids tell their little testimonies is so cute and encouraging. Especially when they came to faith through the club. 

The kids remembered the character names in the drama and it was so so good! Jennie is great at telling the story about Paul and Silage. 

The parents are, sometimes, more noisy than the kids! 

These kids are like sponges. It’s amazing the things they remember! 

Malteasers are the best prize. 

Are there fewer songs than last year?

I am sad we didn’t get to sing “I wanna be brave”, “nothing (oh-oh)” and “have you heard the wonderful news” 

However, “it’s amazing God loves me. Never changing god loves me” is going to be in my head for the next few weeks. And that’s ok. 
If John C ever leaves HBC I don’t know how we’ll cope. 
Everyone is blind in their own way. 

So Sometimes it’s inappropriate to make blind jokes. 

Final thoughts:

Everyone wants to have their name in lights or be on TV. But we all know someone wonderful who has already made us VIPs. 

It’s been one of those days 

Lacking motivation. It’s been one of those days. A day when things have gone wrong, nothing is working out and things are piling up and loading up in my brain, negative thoughts. Because not every day is easy. And it’s hard to stay positive, motivational and upbeat every day. 
Life is hard 

I still have no job , despite over a year of applying and trying so hard. 

What do I want? 

I don’t even know anymore. 

Some people have a plan. They go through school and uni with a clear career path. Teaching, nursing… I envy those people who have their lives so planned out. Those who have a clear purpose. 

I went to uni because I had no clue what I wanted. 

I studied geography because I liked it, not necessarily because I wanted a geography related job at the end of it. 

Do I regret it? No, I loved it. Well, maybe? 

Maybe if I had studied media or drama- my true passions- I could get a job more easily in those fields. But I was dissuaded because those are hard fields to get into. 

But my experience is that ANY field is difficult to get into. 

It’s been over a year 

of applying and trying and I’m so close to giving up. 

Everyone seems to be landing on their feet, getting a job, just getting a chance. 

Everyone tells me that the perfect job will turn up but when? How?

So what do I do? 

Give up? 

People already doubt me. Ask me if I’m “really trying”. 

What’s the point? It’s “too hard”

But the again, 

When has that ever stopped me? 

Maybe now? 

I don’t even know… 

Faith carries you through. 

They say that God has a plan but what is it? How do we know? How do we follow it? How do I know I’m doing it right? Maybe he forgot me. 

One job I was so excited and motivated and driven was RAF and it was a total flunk because of my eyesight. 

God never closes a door without opening a window. Well I guess I’m a fly stuck in a conservatory. Spinning around looking for every and any opportunities that might be open to me but I keep bouncing back. Back to square one, back to nothing. 

And it sucks. Because I have such big dreams and such high hopes. 

And yet here I am. Watching my motivation, my dreams and my hope crumble around me. 

Because it’s hard. Because not every day is easy. And it’s hard to stay positive, motivational and upbeat every day. 
I’m not always like this. A lot of the time I’m actually a pretty positive person. Sometimes my thoughts just pile up and I end up feeling down about life because, hey, I’m only human. 

Don’t worry about me though. I’ll be ok. 

I guess I posted this to show that it’s ok to freak out sometimes and it’s ok to feel less motivated and totally lost… these are just my thoughts right now and it’s a rubbish time but there’s not much to do but keep pushing forwards because, hey, tomorrow could be my big day… 

Here are some inspiring/ motivational blogs to read… 

INSPIRATIONAL MOTIVATORS
Careers and Dreams
Mess and HOPE
Passions and goals
Bright…dogs
Peace and love ✌🏻❤️

Inspirational Motivators

A while ago I wrote a blog entitled Careers and Dreams in which I wrote about my dreams for the future as well as the fact that I had no real “career plan” at that stage. I also wrote about Greg James and how he had inspired me to go after my dreams, even though they seemed impossible, to be more confident in who I am and to do everything for the right reasons.

I feel that those key points have driven me over this past year. I am focused on what I want to achieve, even with every knockback I am still fighting to get into drama and/ or radio. I knew it wasn’t going to be the easiest field to get into and I have also been applying for “back up” jobs connected to my degree, but truth be told, my heart isn’t in a geography career anymore. I honestly just want to make people smile.

I have met an amazing bunch of people in the last 6 months through a podcast that is very close to my heart. These girls encourage me and support me through everything. They laugh at my lame jokes and motivate me, even when I am feeling so tired I want to cry! These guys are amazing, and I hope that everyone can have a bunch of mates just like them! (I have other friends too, and they are no less important. I appreciate every single one of you whether I’ve met you in person or not, whether I saw you yesterday or last year. Your support, presence and the fact that you haven’t punched me in the face mean so much to me. Thank you)

I have also been working, over the past 6 months, to qualify for the Paralympic team for rowing and triathlon. Training continues and it’s not easy! But I love the feeling you get when you reach a new Personal Best, when you feel your technique and speed improving, when you realise how far you come… not so much how much further you have to go, that’s a different feeling altogether! As I said previously, acting, presenting, making people laugh is my one true passion- the one main thing I want to do with my life- but I also love sports, I love pushing myself to the absolute limits (and beyond).. I love finding out how far I can push my body and how far I can push myself mentally… But, ultimately, if it came down to it, I would choose a job in the “entertainment” industry in a heartbeat (but hopefully it won’t come to that!)

Greg James, Chris Smith (with the news), Bear Grylls, my family, my friends and so many others have been such inspirations to me- and continue to be! Whether it’s encouraging me to be myself, motivating me when I don’t feel motivated, teaching me new things, giving me advice or whatever else it may be- sometimes you guys don’t even realise what an amazing job you’re doing simply by sending a quick snapchat saying “you got dis” or “I BELIEVE IN YOU!”. Sometimes this motivation and inspiration can come in the most unlikely forms, such as just laughing at something silly I did, telling me you told one of my stories or jokes to your mates and they laughed! Maybe sending a quick message telling me I did a great job (even though I didn’t and you are a glorious liar). Even just being yourself and not being ashamed of anything that makes you you. I need that sometimes. A reminder that it’s ok to be a bit weird and different, it’s ok to follow your dreams and it’s ok to fail sometimes.

Whoever you are, reading this, thank you. Thank you from the bottom of my lungs for taking the time to read my ramblings.

If you’re one of the people I mentioned above, thank you from the heart of my bottom (strike that, reverse it) for always being there, for making me who I have become in this past year, for encouraging and motivating me… I hope I can return the favour and I hope I can make you proud.

Peace and love, peace and love..